Sleep

This afternoon I was sitting in my office and just felt SO sleepy. Don't know if everything is catching up to me or what. I got up and went for a walk around the office.

I think God is pretty smart to have designed us to need sleep. A time to shut down. I am sure I haven't slept well over the last two weeks, but I do know that my body and mind needed the down time.

Hopefully this weekend we can have some really good sleep!!

Student Ministries

Tonight I spent a couple of hours making phone calls, sending emails, writing out cards to our current and potential Youth Volunteers. I am so excited.

Darius has such an amazing vision. And, the volunteers are getting it!! As I have been praying for our students, I can help but pray for revivial. It is through our young people it will start.

We pray for people to stand in the gap, to reach out and God is answering big time. I can't wait to see how He will rock our socks off.

Thankful

I am so thankful for my friends and family. This morning I received so many hugs - just what I needed.

After this past week I am not taking my friends or prayer or God for granted any more. I need all of them. Quite honestly, I am not sure how I would have made it through without the prayers of those around me.

So often we try to insulate ourselves - not let anyone see what is going on inside, not let anyone see we are hurting, not let anyone know how afraid we are. Maybe that is why God allowed all of this to happen - to show me how much I need Him and His children.

While I would have preferred Him just writing on a wall or whispering in my ear, I have to trust that He knows best. He loves me most. And, we get to spend eternity together in Heaven.

God IS in Control

The last week has been crazy - moving, murder, attempted suicide, broken bones.... If we wrote a book no one would believe it.

Brian, Jay and David are blaming the blog for all of this stuff happening. Me - I think God loves us bunches.

He is refining us - shaping us to be more like Him. Psalm 1 says "For the Lord watches over the path of the godly". So I know He is in control.

The world won't understand at all. Sometimes I don't understand. Someday, though, we will see the whole plan.

Praise God!

Broken Bones

Seconds after my last post - the phone rang. It was Jay. David had broken his leg while dirt bike riding. Both the tibula and the fibula are broken - but cleanly. The ER doctor said it probably won't need surgery - Thank you Jesus.

David is in LOTS of pain. But, Billy and Melonie were with the boys. It is cool they have Youth Leaders who hang with them - even if it happens to be at a hospital!!

Praise

My SOAP today was on Psalm 150:6 - Let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord! Praise the Lord!

It was so cool for God to redirect my mind - Praise the Lord! When times are tough - Praise the Lord! When I am so weary I don't think I can stand it - Praise the Lord! When my children are challenging - Praise the Lord!

The past seven days have been a series of challenges - Praise the Lord! When we make it through - Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord that He considers us worthy to go through all of this.

Praise the Lord!

Suicide

Suicide. Never thought it would come so close to me.

Yesterday Jay tried to commit suicide. He took a whole bunch of pills. Never in my life have I felt such sheer terror as I did while waiting for the paramedics and police. Never have I felt like such a failure as a parent.

God is good. Jay actually vomited out everything. The hospital ran a bunch of tests - he will be fine, perhaps a little constipated for a while.... Now we need to find a counselor, someone he will be willing to talk to.

He said he didn't really want to die - he just wanted to stop hurting. How do we cope with the pain in this world.

I worry about David and his feelings through all of this.

Times like this I feel so inadequate.