Suicide

Suicide. Never thought it would come so close to me.

Yesterday Jay tried to commit suicide. He took a whole bunch of pills. Never in my life have I felt such sheer terror as I did while waiting for the paramedics and police. Never have I felt like such a failure as a parent.

God is good. Jay actually vomited out everything. The hospital ran a bunch of tests - he will be fine, perhaps a little constipated for a while.... Now we need to find a counselor, someone he will be willing to talk to.

He said he didn't really want to die - he just wanted to stop hurting. How do we cope with the pain in this world.

I worry about David and his feelings through all of this.

Times like this I feel so inadequate.