Happy Birthday Dad

Today would have been my Father's 73rd birthday. In a few weeks it will be six years since he went home to be with Jesus. But my Mom, David and I celebrated his life today.

I wonder sometimes why he died so young. How would our lives be different if he had lived? Would Jay have made some of the decsions he has? Would David have developed his writing skills?

We would not have gone to Alaska - Dad hated being cold. Perhaps we would have made it to Hawaii. We would have had more family times to hold close to our hearts.

Now, we have the pictures and the memories of an incredible Dad and an amazing Grandpa.

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my

first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately

wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a

stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind

to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my

favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little

things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a

prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always

talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a

meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I

learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of

your time and money to help people who had nothing,

and I learned that those who have something should

give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care

of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have

to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you

handled your responsibilities, even though you didn't

feel good, and I learned that I would have to be

responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come

from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things

hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you

cared, and I wanted to be everything I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of

life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and

productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and

wanted to say 'Thanks for all the things I saw when

you thought I wasn't looking.'

Each of us influence the lives of children - how will you touch the life of a child today? Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Comfort

My SOAP today was out of 2 Corinthians, chapter 1, verse 4 - He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Wow. So all the stuff we have been going through this summer is going to comfort someone else? That is what scripture says. Everything that has happened and will happen is for a reason - to reflect the glory back to God.

I wish I could say that makes it worth it, but I'm not there yet. Too much reality we are still dealing with. Hopefully some day I can praise God for EVERYTHING that has happened this summer. Because I do know it is all for His glory.

Right now I think I am somewhere between laying in His arms being comforted and reaching out to someone who needs comforting. I am trusting God to let me know when it is time to reach out.

Does David have talent or what??

This is a poem David wrote in memory of my Dad who has been gone almost six years.

You're up above and looking down,
I'm trying my best to not make you frown.
You've taught me lessons on how to live
When I needed a hug you were there to give.

You made sure i learned in school
and if I did not you called me a fool.
We shared moments together
but now your someplace better.

I look back at the days we'd fly planes
and the day I crashed your favorite
You asked me "where's your brains?

We spent time in the outdoors a lot
You were the one to untie a knot.
I miss the days that we'd be in the woodshop,
and all we would hear is "chop chop chop"

You showed me how to fix stuff
When I began to cry you told me to "be tough"
I remember the days when we went camping
and even the days you pushed me on the tire swing.

I can say memories now that your gone,
But if I did this poem would go on.
All it took was a sudden fall,
causing a blood clot to take it all.

~David Wuerfel~

Prayer

I think God is teaching me how to really pray.

There are so many challenges going on. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and pray as the tears flow. Sometimes I just cry out to God telling Him I have no clue, like Paul in Romans, I cry out "Abba, Daddy".

And the cool thing is - He doesn't always answer, but He always comforts me and holds me close, reassuring me everything will work out to His glory.

He reminds me that ALL things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. He never tells me it will be easy. I may have to hurt and be uncomfortable as we live in a fallen world.

I love reading through the Bible this year - what an opportunity to be reminded of all the promises of God waiting for me to claim them.

A Fun Saturday

Here are two of my favorite guys up in the wilds of the Prescott forest. Yes, David crossed the creek on crutches. He was more concerned about getting his shoes dirty than falling in the creek!!

We had such a fun, relaxing day. Drove up to Prescott. Brian had a case to do so David and just hung out in the car. After that we visited the flea market - it would have been more fun if the rain hadn't scared away most of the vendors.

We went out the Senator highway and had a picnic lunch and hiked through the stream, took some pictures. After that we visisted some thrift and antique stores in Prescott.

We were supposed to eat dinner at the Kirkland Steak House - we had heard wonderful things about it. Well, our driver missed the turn. I will give him credit as eight miles up the road he did ask for directions. By this time David was making up songs about how hungry he was. We finally get to Kirkland Junction - and the Steakhouse is closed August 18 to 26!!! I thought it was hyterical. Brian and David have yet to see the humor.

We ended up eating in Wickenburg - no neither of them starved. It was one of the best days I have had in a long time.

Answers

At last we have an answer. Yes, Jay appears to have a chemical imbalance. Part of me is so relieved - there is a reason for the mood swings and the anger. Part of me is wondering why.

So where do we go from here? Dr. Jacienta put him on a small dose of ambilify. At first it could give him a headache or make him sleepy, but it should start working to level out his mood swings.

He seems okay with all of this. He said he just wanted to be normal. But what is normal? Jay is a creative spirit, he doesn't think like Brian and I do. That is not a bad thing, just something we need to be aware of and make every effort to communicate.

He is doing well in school - he may even go back to regular school at mid-year and graduate on time. Amazing considering how far behind he was. He makes me proud that he can overachieve if he wants to.

Jay has so stinking much potential - I can't wait to see what happens when he gets passionate for Jesus!!

Family

Here they are - all of my Mom's grandchildren.

It is pretty cool how well they do get along - they have their fair share of disagreements and ganging up on each other. But no matter how long between the times they see each other - they enjoy being together.

My Mom and I were watching them this afternoon and were wondering where they will each be in 20 years. Hopefully, they will remain friends.

Temptation

My scripture today was out of 1 Corinthians 10 - the last part of verse 13 - God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

This is so cool. With all the challenges we have faced this summer, I have been tempted to run away screaming. But each time God has redirected me, giving me the strength to keep going.

Not sure what He is teaching me, but I am ready for the lesson to be over - but if this continues, His grace will continue showing me a way out so I can endure.

I am so thankful God loves me so much!!

Broken Cars

David's car broke. So we went to Checker and bought a book, a thermostat and a gasket.

Then, David fixed it all by himself, except for the last twenty minutes when Jay came home and helped.

Amazingly, they got along well, they worked together, there was no fighting, no name calling.

So the broken car gave me hope.

Roller Coasters

I don't like roller coasters. Yet, this summer feels like we have been on a roller coaster.

In fact, the situation with Brian's recertification as a Police Officer is a roller coaster that has been going on for 14 months. This morning he had a background interview. He was pretty discouraged. Something that happened over 12 years ago is coming back. It was wrong then. It is wrong now.

We talked about our options if this doesn't happen? Or is this a situation where the evil one is trying to discourage us? Brian is an Officer through and through. It would really be sad if the lies of evil people keep him from his dream and from what God has called him to be.

Maybe I just answered my own question, since God created Brian, won't he work through the nasty stuff so Brian can glorify him?

I am trusting God to work out the details, to pull us through this tough summer and to give God the glory through everything!!

Anticipation

I am so blessed. Even through the storms, I am blessed.

It is odd - normally I am a peaceful person, it takes quite a bit to get be riled. But for the last day or so I have felt a sense of anticipation. Kind of like Christmas Eve.

No clue where this is coming from -

• Could be all the cool things happening in Student Ministries
• Could be there is going to be a break through in Jay's life
• Could be Brian's interview process will fast track
• Could be I am feeling how much Jesus loves me

I am blessed and waiting to see what God is going to do.

Judging

The scripture today was in 1 Corinthians 5, verses 12-13, "It isn't my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsiblity to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, "You must remove the evil person from among you."

How many times do I have it totally backwards? I pass judgement on those who don't know Jesus and let my brothers and sisters live in sin. Perhaps it is easier to judge those we don't know who do things we believe to be evil than to confront someone we know and love with something painful.

Having a child who lives on the edge of rebellion it has sometimes challenged me - I don't agree with his choices for tatoos and piercings. Yet I get angry when others from church judge him for the same actions. Is he being judged fairly? Should he be judged at all?

Is my frustration a judgement? This whole topic makes my head spin. Just need to remind myself Jesus loves me, this I know. Yes, Jesus love ME!!

God is in Control

Just resting in the fact that God is in control. Not sure how - but know that He promised to take care of me.

Seems like there is so much going on. Part of me just wants to run away and hide (up in the mountains). Another part of me wants to scream. Another part of me wants to cry because so many people are hurting each other. Another part wants to wrap my arms around those who are being hurt. Another part wants to punch the people who are doing stupid stuff.

But, I sit here praying and blogging. Because I am going to let God handle what is going on - He is amazing and will work out everything to His glory.

Thank you Jesus!!

Storms

Storms are funny. Last night it poured rain in central Phoenix, but not a drop here in Goodyear. Today the clouds look ominous...

Perhaps life is like that sometimes - the storms in our lives come so close, but never touch us, though they threaten. Other times we get totally rained on, or the winds blow, or the temperature drops.

One of my co-workers told me today my life was like a storm, she wouldn't take my life for anything in the world!! I don't feel like I'm in a storm. Sure, it has been a crazy summer - lots happening. But God is holding on to us. There isn't a storm created that can take that away from me.

I like storms.

First Day of School

David and Jay made it through the first day of school - without me walking them there or even taking their pictures! Part of me really misses those days, all the excitement, seeing friends.

David loves Verrado. He is excited about his classes, meeting new friends, growing closer to some of the students from PVC, playing sports again.

Jay doesn't hate Desert Edge!! In fact, his first day they cut classes short since the computers weren't allowing the new students on. I really pray he will excel here - catch up and graduate. He is so much smarter than high school.

I simply pray God's protection around the boys, their friends, their teachers. Pray they will make an impact for Jesus, the first day of school and beyond.

Crossing the Line

Growing up today is hard.

Friday night our house was teepeed and David's car was saran wrapped. If the culprits had stopped there it would have been okay. But they didn't. We had shredded paper towels, confetti, silly string and condoms all over the front yard too.

Brian spent about an hour cleaning then he and David went to the Man Law breakfast. So I spent the next hour and a half finishing cleaning the front yard. My hands were shaking from holding the leave thingy.

This morning I chatted with three of the culprits. They were remorseful, said they thought the boys would clean it up. I asked them how David could with a broken leg and Jay is lazy.

Sometimes it is hard to know where the lines are, where it goes from being funny to being destructive.

Hopefully they will learn.

David has a car!

David has a car. It all started with a dirt bike that was given to him. He traded it for a bigger bike. Then he traded that for another bike.

Then he broke his leg - ouch!

While healing he asked if it would be okay if he traded his bike for a car. Our response - it is your bike, be careful.

So David went to Craig's List. He checked out lots of cars. Finally, last week he found this one from Eric who was willing to trade for his dirt bike.

Eric is a mechanic who fixes up cars, then sells them. Mechanically the car is in pretty good shape - needs shocks and a speedometer, the interior needed some work that David and Brian did this weekend.

I am so proud of David for doing this all on his own.

Jay's Creativity

Jay created this art work for our bedroom. He had done one similar for Brian's Tres Dias weekend back in April. I told him what I wanted - in about two hours, it was done.

He has never even taken an art class - and neither of his parents can draw a stick figure!! I am so amazed at the creativity in this young man. Even more, I can't wait until he starts using this talent for God, then he will blossom.

I am so excited to see how he will grow as an artist.