Quiet

It has been a hectic / quiet weekend.

Brian is in Las Vegas at a conference. David and Jay are at the Dare to Share conference. So I have been on my own.

Yesterday I was supposed to attend a baby shower..... Billy and Melonie needed our Expedition to get students to the Dare to Share conference so Friday at lunch David brought the truck over to my office to trade.

I had a 2:00 meeting at our Corporate Office so I got into the truck and realized - we have grinding brakes. After work I drove (32 miles) to Brake Masters. They put temporary pads on to keep me safe until it could be fixed this morning.

So, instead of sleeping in - I was at Brake Masters. It was really cool. I was early, sitting in the parking lot. Other cars drove in, men got out (4 of them) and waited at the front door. I didn't see it, but assume they fought to get in. I walked in adn went to sit down and wait but Matt said "Let me have your keys and we'll get started." So cool.

After the obligatory grocery shopping, some cleaning and scrubbing the driveway it was time to relax.

It has been peaceful - just me and God, talking about life, just being together.

50th Wedding Anniversary

Sunday would have been my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. So early last week I phoned my Mom and asked if she wanted to do something. She wanted to think about it.

When she returned my call she said yes, she was trying to figure out what she would be doing if my Dad were still alive (probably on a trip somewhere). But since she didn't have time to plan a trip - spending time with family would be great and she wanted to ride the light rail!

So Sunday afternoon David and I drove over to my Mom's home, then on to the light rail station. We rode from one end to Mill Avenue. We got off and wandered up and down Mill Avenue doing a bit of shopping. We ate at Fatburgers. David has a new goal in life - he wants to work at Fatburgers. (In case you have never been there, with every order they yell "Fatburger" or "Fat Fries" or "Skinny Fries".)

Then we rode it back. While not the most exciting thing we have ever done - it was good to be together and remember my Dad.

I even found out my parents were married on a Sunday afternoon. I knew they had a one night honeymoon and then drove to San Diego.

I am thankful for the beautiful example of marriage my parents gave me.

The Prodigal's Mom

I have figured out where the Prodigal's mom was. She was on her knees praying for her child who had wandered, praying for her child still at home and praying for her husband.

Now that the Prodigal is home - I must pray even harder for the relationship between my sons and the relationship between father and son. There is a HUGE lack of trust, there is jealousy, there is hurt. I believe God can and will heal all of this and strengthen their bond.

While I thought it was tough when he was gone - not knowing where he was, what was going on, was he safe. This is tougher.

Now I have to encourage him to make wise choices, hold him accountable for what he has agreed to do, learn to trust him when he has hurt me so deeply.

I have no clue why I have had the privilege of going through this. Perhaps it was to understand a little bit more the heart of God, the heart that is hurt by the actions of His children. Yet He still reaches out in love.

So, this mother of the Prodigal will increase prayers knowing they will be answered by my Heavenly Father who understands how I feel.

Thank you Jesus for holding my hand through this.

The Prodigal Comes Home

Jay is home. I am not certain if it is a good decision or not. Time will tell.

Our conversations with him convinced us he truly wants to get back on the right path. But, he has fooled us before. He has contacted Primavera to get back into school. He has committed to spending at least three hours a day looking for a job. He has agreed to all of the house rules.

We now have to trust God has begun a work in him and He will complete this work.

Maybe what we are learning is God is the God of second chances. This is Jay's second chance.

The Prodigal Reaches Out

We have adjusted to our life without the Prodigal (Jay). It is not better, it is not worse. It is different.


Tonight my phone rings - "Hi Mom, it's Jay, I need to talk to you and want you to listen."


Inside my mind - Okay - have I not been listening for the last 18+ years? Do you think this has been easy for me?


"I had a really bad dream last night."


Inside my mind - Oh, no night terrors. He has had them for years. Who is going to hold him as he cries in the dark of the night?


"What do I need to do to move home? I'll get a job, I'll call Primavera to get back in school, whatever."

Inside my mind - What will be different this time? Why should I believe you?

I ask "Is Justin kicking you out?"

"No, it's just I am tired of the party scene - there is no point in it. I need to get serious about my life."

Inside my mind - I have heard this all before.

I say "Why don't you start doing the things you need to do, show us you are serious."

"That's a great idea Mom. I love you."

Once again I fall to my knees, begging God to do a miracle in the life of our Prodigal Son. And I praise God for the one who has been faithful.

Husbands

This was an incredibly busy week at work. We were wrapping up December, closing January, testing for a new implementation. I was working about 10 hours a day.

So today we have been kicking back - I finished up our taxes, did some housework. Then, my most wonderful husband accuses me of slacking. Apparently I haven't been blogging enough.

There are times I want to scream. So here is my blog about how even the most wonderfully, amazing husbands can stick their feet in their mouths.

Actually, he did buy me flowers. I would have been mad about the expense we can't afford, but.... he used a vase I already had and he used a coupon for the flowers at Bashas.

I will be happy when he finds a new position and isn't so depressed. All in God's time.

Mom of a Prodigal

Being the eternal optimist I am, I have been searching for the positive aspects of being the Mom of a prodigal child.

• Daily, actually moment by moment, I have to put my child on the altar.
• I trust God to meet his needs.
• I trust God to hold me really close, especially when I melt down.
• Prayer has become a constant in my life, so much so that my staff think I am talking to myself!!
• I have grown closer to my children who are making wise choices.
• The other children are learning from their brother's mistakes.
• While I don't like what we are going through, I know this will bring God glory.
• In sharing what we are going through others have held us up in prayer and accountability allowing God to use them.

I am sure there are lots of other positives, someday I will understand them. For now, I just hold on to the Lord's hand knowing His other hand is reaching for my child. When Jay grabs that hand - there will be a great big hug and rejoicing.

Holiness

My SOAP scripture today says - I am the Lord your God; consecrate yourselves and he holy, because I am holy.

So in today's world how does this work? What is holiness?

It is so easy to get sucked into the world's way of thinking; to slowly compromise our standards; to not stand up for what God says. As the song says - It's a slow fade.

My office is in a great location, I can hear lots of what is going on and never leave my desk. This morning, some of the girls were talking about some television show and what they were describing nauseated me. How did it get on tv? Instead of not watching much television, should I be protesting what is on?

Yet, as I strive to live a holy life there are many times I just feel out of place, I don't fit in. Is that being holy or am I just odd?

All I know is God is holy and I want to be like Him. So if I don't fit into the world - so be it.

Student Ministries Rocks!!

Within the last two weeks we have had six folks not only express an interest in Mentoring in Student Ministries - but they actually showed up!!!

Sometimes I get so excited about what is going on with our students. I watch the students as they come each week, sometimes seeing their eyes light up - they got the message. I watch them interact with their friends, flirt with the opposite sex and they feel safe.

As a parent that is important, my student has a place he can feel safe, where the other students accept him, where he can be his goofy self.

God is getting ready to do great and mighty things in Student Ministries - we are gearing up. My only regret in all of this is I can't do it full time. I would love to spend my time reassuring people how important they are and helping them find a fit. I love praying with and for our current Mentors.

What do people do who don't have a relationship with Jesus? Where do they get their support?

So, not only did God send Jesus for me, He also lets me serve in Student Ministries. He truly loves me!!

Stressing

This has been a really crappy week. Work is incredibly busy, two major projects plus month end and December isn't even finished yet in accounting land.

I've had to deal with some extremely hypocritical people. One of my pet peeves is people who demand one thing from you, then live a different lifestyle. If you are going to talk the talk - then walk the walk. To make things even more annoying - the thorn is trying to be my friend after stabbing me in the back.

Deep breath. Another deep breath.

And, David has decided he wants to race dirt bikes again - does not the child understand he broke his leg (both bones) on a dirt bike.

Deep breath. Another deep breath.

Now, I just need to remind myself, this too will pass. Someday, sitting on God's lap, I will look back and laugh about all the stupid stuff I stressed over.