Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hope and the Unknown

My poor little brain is frazzled. I am still trying to figure out what happened in my marriage to cause Brian to leave or more importantly I am trying to get my mind around why Brian would blatently disobey God.


I shared with a friend of mine a vision God gave me. Brian and I are standing hand in hand at the edge of the Promised Land. Behind us are all the horrible things we have already endured - the trial, Brian's gambling addiction, being separated by work, death, challenges with children. In front of us is Jesus - holding out blessings - the home we looked at two months ago, our children, grandchildren, our goats - Nanny and Billy. Jesus is saying to Brian, the choice is yours - choose obedience and all the blessings and more are yours.

After sharing this with a wise friend he said - Vicki, there is more to your vision. I said "What?"

He said, next to Jesus is satan - he is holding lots of pretty things that will be temporary, they won't last as they are built on lies and deception, there is no basis but they are tempting. And satan is saying, choose me.

Our friend continued - he said, Vicki, you don't see satan because you are focused on the Lord. Brian is confused, therefore he is listening to both.

At this point Brian has chosen sin. Yet, I hold onto the hope he will return to God and will rest in the arms of his Savior. Abba Father is waiting for Brian to reach out. He so wants to hold him and rock him and take away all the pain.

I have hope.

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